Now I feel alive. I feel alive I feel alive Now I feel alive. I feel alive I feel alive I feel alive The mundane daily life, has got my neck firmly in a noose. Constant repetition of boredom and routine is pulling the rope tighter around my neck. There must be more to life than this. I need an escape from this boredom, I need a fix. I need to feel real excitement. The socially acceptable life that's been paved out by the government is driving me insane. You do what you're told, you like what you're told and you listen to what you're told. There's no freedom, there's no rebellion. But I think, I might turn the page to reach the next chapter in my life. It doesn't lye in bed of feather, but will place me firmly on my side, for a good length of time. Basking in the feeling of clarity, where my monotonous life could not satisfy me. I need to feel true feeling. Feel true pleasure.

This taste will not only bring me to a new beginning, but will bring me to a bold end. But what am fighting for. The siege of Masada continues today. We're being enslaved by the media, religion and social conditioning. We've become corporate whores, abiding to our superiors. Slowly wasting away, just to live one more day. I choose change. I want to burn at candle at both ends. And use that flame to cook up for my veins. Cus everyday without you feels like a drag. I want to shoot the demons off my back. I'd rather burn the candle bright and use that flame to cook up an almighty stew for my veins to feel the feel pleasures of life, that the clean life could never give me. I chose to plunge this needle into my arm for a life that gives me meaning. A meaning of joy. A meaning to live. I want to burn at candle at both ends. And use that flame to cook up for my veins. Cus everyday without you feels like a drag. I want to shoot the demons off my back.

I've never felt so alone. Until I felt the piercing sting of you. Then I felt nothing but joy, from my best friend, my lover. The honeymoon period would not last forever though. This soon enough became an addiction, a career, a full time job. Finding money, scoring enough to satisfy my every waking need. Where it soon will loose it's appeal. But the hunger will grow stronger, the lust will grow deeper and pain became overwhelming as every muscle in my body ached when you are not around me. I want to feel you inside out, then pay you to leave. But you are deep in my mind, you've become my only god. I know I can't control you, but I can use you. Again, and again and again. I wish I could leave you in the dirt to die and not have to abuse you again, and again and again. But I'm your scumbag, I'm your repeat and you know you'll always have me. I want to bleed for you, I need you more than words can say. I wish I could you and leave you, but I know that will not happen. I'm only happy when I can feel you. And that's the only time I feel alive. I find myself getting so close to death and if I can't control myself, I'm better off dead. And there's I can see worth fighting for without you. I fight this battle all alone, my tear freeze in the cold. My heart stopped beating and only starts again when you're near.

Finally you're wasting all of your time. To catch a breathe and inhale all of your lives. Thinking clearly has become a thing of the past. Shapes, music and lights are all that's left. Tomorrow is dead and yesterday was wonderful. There's nowhere to run, except of the edge of a cliff or into the barrel of a gun. Wherever I touch, it now turns to shit and I lick it up, cus baby it tastes beautiful. Running around in the dead of night, trying to get myself satisfied. The needle is calling my name and baby it sounds wonderful. There are so many things, I wish I could have done and one of them is not loving you. But still I breathe. Just to feel you in my veins, just to feel you in my veins, just to feel you in my veins. Finally you're wasting all of your time. To catch a breathe and inhale all of your lives. Thinking clearly has become a thing of the past. Shapes, music and lights are all that's left. For the past few years, I've been dead and I've resurrected today, unclipped my wings and I've flown away. For the first time in a while, I felt something. So I punched myself in the face, just to see if I was awake. A bruise formed around my eye, I've never felt so happy inside. I could feel pain that wasn't from you. What a lovely feeling. I can't wait to die. I want to feel real again, but I know that it'll never happen, not in this life. This is the closet to alive that I've felt in a while. You are my morning coffee, my midnight feast, addiction never goes away. I love and hate how high and low you make me feel. Real life cannot compare to your roller coasted of emotions. The world is flat, it has no excitement. I met someone, as damaged as I am. A match made in heaven. She's no comparison on you. She's too human to make me feel. Finally you're wasting all of your time. To catch a breathe and inhale all of your lives. Thinking clearly has become a thing of the past. Shapes, music and lights are all that's left.

I miss your texture, I miss your taste. I miss everything about you including your piecing stare. Just one more fix, for old times sake. It's just like hanging out with an old friend. So I grasp the needle and shove it in my veins, my whole life flashes before my eyes. Seeing my mother as a child, my first day of school and seeing how I wasted my life on selfish pleasure and this would be my last breathe. Such a bare feeling, unless I ram you into my arm. The whole world grows, feelings explode. This is what I'm living for, this is why I'm alive. Everything else has no meaning, now my life feels complete. I feel alive, I feel alive, I feel alive, I feel, I feel alive. But now I'm dead. Now I've died. With a smile on my face, at a tender young age. I can truly say, that addiction never goes away.